Feelings about Virginia Tech Tragedy

I once read that when a writer is upset….they write. That is how they know how to deal with their emotions that are raging inside of them. Katherine Paterson wrote Bridge to Terabithia from her own personal, emotional response to her son’s best friend’s death from a tragic strike of lightening. Eve Bunting recalled her sons quoting an E. B. White sentence about how sad it was that Charlotte died alone, after facing the death of his own, dear bunny. Well, I don’t profess to be a writer of greatness that could anywhere compare to Katherine Paterson, Eve Bunting, or E.B. White, but I have discovered that I am a writer of some sort and that is what I am going to do. I will write!

With the tragedy that has literally shaken our country occurring just days ago at Virginia Tech University, I feel that my soul longs to speak out about the feelings it is harboring inside. It is a yearning within me that has to be satisfied, and until quenched, I am rendered unable to write anything else. Sure, I have joined America in the endless watching of news reels and readings of newspaper articles, I have mourned the lost at services, and kept a silent vigil at moments of silence during the day. I have even worn Virginia Tech colors (something a Carolina Tarheels fan would not normally do) in memory of the tragedy, and I have joined into conversations with people for the sole intention of finding out more about the Tech situation from their own point of view. Did they know anyone? Did they find out something new? How were they connected? Because, you see, we were all connected, one way or another, to this tragedy that has made many tremble at the mere thought of this nightmare. We are all part of the human race, which makes us connected. We all look at the faces of the young and innocent, realizing the potential that lies in each life, and that makes us connected. We all fear a horror like this and hope to never see anything like this occur again, and that makes us connected. And we all search to understand how something as disturbing and monstrous as this could occur, not too far from where we take our own tests in quiet classrooms, and that makes us connected.

I thought that I was moving on from this tragedy, having discovered that the one person that I know who was taking an Engineering class in Norris Hall at the time of the shootings was safe and one his way home to be with his family. I was moving on, that is, until I read his message about being a survivor, after seeing the light of another day after this horrific event. He was in a classroom that happened to barricade their door only minutes before the shooter tried to enter, undoubtedly with the intent to take all of their lives. He wrote how at first they thought the gun shots were construction sounds, but when a girl in his class walked over to shut the door, looked out and saw a gun, she slammed the door and they all hit the ground under their desks. My friend that I know frantically screamed to barricade the door, but he, himself, was to terrified to move. Finally, some brave student quickly barricaded the door, only minutes before the shooter tried to enter and take their lives. He couldn’t get in, so he shot two bullets through the door, then went across the hall and slaughtered other innocent people. My friend, and his classmates that were innocently testing in that room that day, survived this tragedy by barricading the door only minutes before their life was to end. My question now is how do the survivors move on and continue living after this demonic event that almost cost them their lives?

I sit and try to write about Long Night Moon and other wonderful, sensory books that arouse feelings of calm and peace within the reader, but no calm and peace are found for me today. And no calm and peace will be found for many in the days, months, and years to come. I can not tell why these events occur. I can not tell when and if they will continue to occur. I can tell that life is precious and that we have so little time to truly live it out. Enjoy each breath, enjoy each view, enjoy each laugh, each love, each hand holding experience. Enjoy life and all it has to offer and do not let fear take it away from the living.

I began this with the intent to write away my pain and sorrow and I’m not sure that my goal was met. I began this with the intention to heal and I’m not sure that my goal was met there, either. Will we heal from this event in our lives? I don’t know. But we should live our lives with honor and goodness, if even only as a testimony to those who have lost their lives only days ago.